Tuesday, April 9, 2013
COM 250 / Week 2 Discussion: Communicating identity: My story
How we communicate and how our communication is received by others can be shaped by (1) our sense of "who we are" (our identity), (2) our sense of "who they are" (their identity) and (3) their sense of "who we are." Often we feel good that we can use communication to enact our desired identities and that our communication is well received by others because it confirms their perception of "who we are." But sometimes our sense of identity can distort our communication and make us feel we need to communicate in a specific way to conform to others' expectation of "who we ought to be." Tell us some stories in your life that sometime you feel being empowered by your sense of identity and sometimes you feel being intimidated or disempowered by this "identity" thing.
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Hello Professor and classmates,
ReplyDeleteI believe that I am still figuring out my identity however depending on the situation, I am a different person each time. I grew up in a particular type of environment where education was not valued and teaching/learning did not happen as it should have. Because of this, I developed a certain style of speech that most consider 'slang' and when I am with my friends I say things like ain't, bout to, etc. however I am aware that this is not 'proper' speak and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable because it is so ingrained in me that I cant help it. Now I am so aware of it that when I am at my local Community College speaking with other students, mentoring, tutoring, or talking with former professors, I have to work so hard and focus on the way I speak so I am not seen as less than, even though I have such a wealth of knowledge.
Society expects certain things from people and if you do not fit in to a particular set of 'molds' then you are less than. It is very difficult to express the identity I believe I have when the Identity others have placed on me is the one they have.
Aw
Audrey,
DeleteI've enjoyed reading your posts on here! Always makes me reflect and think about times I've been in a similar situation.
Tesmond
Our communication style and our identity (especially our social identity) reinforce each other. We communicate "who we are." "Who we are" dictates how we communicate.
ReplyDeleteIdentity has never been encouraged in my family growing up. I lost my mother at age 5 and when my father remarried, his new wife was not interested in letting us be who we wanted to be. My step-mother, much like society, had a certain expectation for my older brother and I. Since I am a girl, she always had this stereotype she wanted me to be. I needed to be a "proper lady". Meaning I had to dress, act, and speak like a grown up woman from age 5. I was not allowed to speak without first being spoken to, and my opinions never really mattered. Once I got older, I was still walking on eggshells around her trying to still portray that "perfect" lady she had tried making me be. I didn't know how to communicate with my siblings or my parents, or even the rest of my family. I didn't know how to speak or act around others, so I kept to myself. Once I got into high school, I didn't want to hang out with friends outside of school and practices, because I didn't know how. When I was little no one had taught me how to be myself, therefore, I really didn't have an identity all to myself. All I knew was what my step-mother had forced me to be. So here I am, second year of college, and still figuring out an "Identity" for myself. Communicating who I am is getting easier and easier, because there is no one telling me who I need to be to be accepted in society today.
ReplyDeleteYes, we are listening and at least I saw a wounded reed. I hope you grow strong and be yourself, and you will.
ReplyDeleteOne way that I have felt empowered by my identity was when I joined the military. It gave me a sense of "worth", a sense of honor. Through my eight years in the army, I have seen soldiers disempowered by doing bad things then getting reprimanded for it by losing rank, loss of pay, and having to do extra work to make up for it. Thing i learned early in my career was be honest, be true to yourself, and make your mark in life.
ReplyDeleteAll through four years of high school, everyone had this exception of me to be true to stereotypes. They expected me to wear saggy pants, with flat brim hats, etc. just because of being 1/2 black. For years, I've dealt with people and, what I call, their stupidity. However, as I've moved forward in life, I've realized my identity is, and should be, based around my likes, interests, and personality. Ever since becoming a wildland and structural firefighter in Island City, I've found other people who share a common part of my identity--I like to help people. I've also found over the years that when you surround yourself with people who share common parts of your identity, you don't have to worry about people trying to change you and having outrageous expectations that you can't meet.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up living at home, my parents always supported me in being myself. Distinctly to this day, I remember middle school and high school; trying to fit in by doing certain things, or wearing certain clothes, etc. About 3 years into high school, I decided that enough was enough and I was going to do what I liked to do, even if other people didn't approve. What a great learning experience!
That's great to hear Tesmond. I too learned that at an early age. Once I got into the army, we all wore the same thing so everyone appeared to be the same, whether they had lots of money or little money. This made it a lot easier on everyone. Society plays a huge part in how people see you. Especially if everyone around you are wearing certain things that you don't, or a piercing, or tattoo.... I totally agree with your story!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks!!!
DeleteThe person that I am today is based upon how I was brought up and the trials and tribulations that I have faced along the way. From an early age I was view as to be a bad kid that was up to no good that people that didn’t know me looked at me as in a sense a “thuggish child”. When growing up in the city of Seattle by a way of west Seattle some would think that oh he comes from there then he must live in the ghetto or the “hood” when it is a nice middle to upper middle class neighborhood. Now when I came down here to eastern Oregon University and people asked me where I was from one of my team mates had responded with “oh in Seattle do you have to carry around a gun for protection?” I looked at him with a meek look and couldn’t believe my ears that he really asked me that question. It is crazy how people from small towns have the perception that when living in big city that you must be ghetto or hood. When everyday I’m glad that that’s where I come from because I have learned a lot of stuff that has helped mold me in to the person that I am today from my neighborhood in west Seattle and I feel that if I was brought up somewhere else then I wouldn’t be the person that many know and love today.
ReplyDeleteSo, you try to communicate an identity to confront other people's stereotypical identity (thuggish child) about you. Good, see, you can enact your identity by your communicative behavior. So, can you be more specific about how you communicate your identity which is different from the stereotypical identity?
ReplyDeleteCertain situations I feel that I have to portray different identities. For example I was born and raised here in La Grande Oregon. I am Black and Mexican and often times being here in La Grande I have to conform to a more La Grande type identity. Although i was raised in La Grande I don't feel that my identity should change due to my ethnicity. When I am on campus and Im with my friends I portray my true identity with is a mix girl who loves to have fun and proud to be from a small town in Eastern Oregon. However I do love to go fourwheeling up in the mountains and i love horse back riding. When certain people learn of this it amazes them a at times Ive gotten distrubing looks. Changing my identity and who I am is not going to really ever be a solution.
ReplyDeleteAnd here I was thinking I was the only person who thought like that!
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