Some scholars,
journalists, and college students suggest traditional dating has been replaced
by group dates, hook-ups, friends with benefits, and celibacy. Young generation
becomes frustrated with both “too much” commitment and “too little” commitment
as in He Is Just Not That into You. It becomes more and more difficult for us to
commit to and invest in long term relationships. Traditional dating is dead. Hooking up
without hanging out becomes prevalent. According
to one survey, young generation of women “felt they couldn’t date around to
find a suitable partner before falling into an exclusive relationship with one
man.” What’s your take on today’s dating
scene?
I think that especially in college, today's dating scene is very much excluded from traditional dating and courting. In a way, technology is partially the fault because of the need to have that instant communication. Because of this instant communication, both male and female are constantly talking to each other and learning about each other so that denies the need to go on traditional dates. Since both parties are talking to each other so much before the date, when they get to the date, they already know so much about each other that the date is just their to validate their physical attractiveness. As far as commitment goes, it really depends on who the couple is and what they both want to see in their future relationship. I think the way relationships go now is that if you're going on dates with multiple girls at the same time, then you're seen as a player, which isn't true. I think that's the only way to really know what your interests are, and how other people can fill your interests and needs to have a healthy relationship.
ReplyDeleteI feel that today's dating scene is much different than it used to be. One of the problems is people put relationships and feelings on a pedestal, and people are afraid of them. They're afraid of getting hurt, they're even afraid of liking a person too much. People now are too afraid to let someone in, to let someone get too close to them. So since they are scared to truly understand their own feelings, they go for "non-committed" relationships. Which are friends with benefits, just "talking", etc. But, the problem with these types of relationships, is someone always ends up getting hurt anyways, so why not just have the relationship? What's the difference? Dating should be just that, dating. A person should be able to go out with multiple men or women, and have fun getting to know each other. How are you supposed to know what you're looking for if you don't have options? Dating shouldn't be with only one person until you are completely ready for it to be with one person. People are so afraid to go on dates because they don't want to be seen in public with a person, or they don't want to spend money on them if they aren't getting something in return. Dating in today's society is completely overrated and unnecessary. Especially with technology. People feel the need to be communicating all the time, leading them to not actually "hang out" in person, because why hang out with them when you can text and use social media to get to know each other? People think that if they are committed to one person, then that's it, their life is "over" as they know it. But if you have a suitable partner for your needs, they will understand when and if you start to have feelings of non-commitment. People and feelings change, but what they need to realize is it is much easier and better for you to be honest and happy with another person, even if it is just for a little while. My father lost my mother about 15 years ago, and when I expressed my feelings of how I was scared to be with someone and invest time in them, to only just lose them in the end, he always reminds me of one important thing. It is better to have loved and lost, to have never loved at all. And I think our generation and the one after us is having trouble remembering this.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best post so far. Thank you, Goldie.
DeleteToday's dating scene has changed drastically. Even over the last 10 years. Up until the 21st century, dating was important and was carried out very specifically and respectfully. For one, sex wasn't part of common relationships until the 1970s. After that it was common, but still partially unheard of. Media, celeberties, music, and other influences have changed the way relationships work. If you listen to any pop or rap music ik recent years, these songs engage in downgraded women by promoting the "friends with benefits." Something that the 21st century people have had to deal with, unlike before, is the use of texting and social networking. Why waste time going to hangout with someone, when you can "get to know" a person by texting or Facebooking. I use the term "get to know" because there always is more than meets the eye, as the phrase goes. By texting a person, you can't really see a person's reaction to what you say, and it allows you to think before saying anything. In the event you met the person face-to-face, it could be deceiving--personality or looks. In the past, guys would go to the girl's father and ask for permission today's his daughter. This was huge because, at that point, the relationship was a serious long-term commitment. Based off my observations, especially from high school years, commitment meant absolutely nothing. I would see on Facebook people who would be "in a relationship" and "single" on a week or bi-weekly basis. This would go on for weeks. I also believe in a world where the standard of "attractive" is set by extremely unhealthy models, looks become a majority or the sole reason two people date. Despite people's lack of commitment, whether they're a gamophobic (fearing a marriage, relationship, or commitment to the aforementioned) or not, dating still doesn't follow traditional values. People have began tolerating their significant other's lies, lack of communication, disrespect. I believe people want the bragging rights of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, but don't wanna spend the time or put forth the effort. Facts continue to prove that commitment in relationships means nothing as over 50% of first-time marriages end in the first 10 years. Because of people's lack of commitment, the term and concept of friends with benefits has come about. If you enjoy all the benefits but don't want to make the commitment, time, or effort then "FWB" is the route to go.
ReplyDeletevery perceptive observation!
DeleteI think a date refers to an activity two people share together with the intention of getting to know each other better on a potentially romantic level. This differs greatly from hooking up which usually describes a casual get together between two people that may or may not be serious about any relationship. Two people who are dating I think they share several dates together and have made it clear to one another they are interested in more than just a friendship even if so far the exchanges have been purely friendly in nature. I think Dating is essentially getting to know someone over an extended period of time to determine if a relationship is something worth pursuing.
ReplyDeleteMy take on today’s dating scene is that the really isn’t one anymore. It seems that a lot of the people in my generation and the generation right behind me don’t really tend to go out with them and their partner that they are interested in pursuing something with. It’s like they are scared to go out on a one on one date to where they can sit talk and actually get to know the person to see if the actually want to continue to see this person and potentially make it in to a relationship. It is not that people don’t want to do this anymore I feel that it is what they see on TV, where the dates they see are in a group setting so that it’s not awkward if the two that are seeing if they are into each other. In fact that makes it more awkward to me because if they aren’t into each other then they aren't going to talk or interact with one another. This is the reason that young people “hook up” or have friends with benefits because it’s easier to not have the responsibility of being in a relationship or just talking to the one person that you are interested in. In fact this gives the person options to see exactly who they want to be with and if they want to turn it into something more than what it already is.
ReplyDeleteMy take on the dating scene now is that it isn’t taken as serious as it used to be. People tend to not be as committed to a relationship. I think my generation won’t see a relationship last over 50 years like they use to. Everyone is always looking for something new or better. Also people can’t seem to communication with one another due to technology. People find it hard to have a conversation unless it is over the common text. I’ve seen so many people struggle to just hold a casual conversation with the other sex, they always want to just get their cell phone number and text them. There is also too much online dating, people never use to have that privilege they actually had to approach people and get to know someone in person. Traditional dating is no longer exists. Surprisingly just the other day I saw a man get out of his car and ran to the other side of the door just to let his partner out of the door, you just don’t see that anymore.. It’s no longer enforced for people to use these traditions. And finally it seems to be more socially acceptable to have sex during a relationship instead of holding it till marriage. So now that it is acceptable people don’t see the need in committing if they can get what they want without the ring. I just feel like if people don’t start to put down the technology and start to go back to having to find someone in person relationships will be solely based off of computers and our cell phones. Communication is truly key in having a successful relationship and using this technology isn’t even close to as affective as a one on one conversation with an individual.
ReplyDeletevery good one!
DeleteIn today's society, dating is very complicated. Some people want to stay just friends, some want only the status of being taken, and others try to put work towards a strong relationship. My opinion about how people date these days is that it is taken too light heartedly. People are not serious about putting the work in. All they want is someone there to listen and not talk but reality is that you have to be able to listen to your significant other too, it is not a one way street. I am not at all an expert, but I have been in a successful relationship for four years now. It does take a lot of work and it is not at all easy to say the least. I have to be there for my boyfriend just as I expect him to be there for me when my world feels upside down. Teenagers and even young adults have become lazy or too care free to consider the thoughts of another I this society. They say YOLO as if to hook up with whoever whenever because "You Only Live Once!". Relationships should be taken so much more seriously than they are but that is an older era's way of thinking. What I expect to see if more open relationships and less commitment because who needs that if nobody gets hurt?
ReplyDelete